Ahead of Midterm Elections, Persuasion Expert Peter Afrasiabi Explains How to Disagree Without Damaging Relationships

Attorney & persuasion expert Peter Afrasiabi offers a reminder: Americans can stand firmly behind their beliefs without treating those who disagree as enemies.

NEWPORT BEACH, CA, UNITED STATES, October 20, 2026 /EINPresswire.com/ — As Americans prepare to head to the polls for the midterms, political disagreements are playing out around dinner tables, in community conversations, and across social media. Attorney Peter Afrasiabi believes people can advocate strongly for their positions without attacking the intelligence, motives, or character of those who disagree.

“We don’t have to share the same beliefs to treat one another with respect,” says Afrasiabi, author of Profiles in Persuasion: How to Stand Up, Stay Credible, and Win People Over in a Deeply Divided World (Cicero Now, LLC; 2026; ISBN: 978-1-7378849-0-3, $19.99). “We can disagree passionately, defend our positions, and still recognize the humanity of the person on the other side. In fact, that’s where meaningful persuasion begins.”

In his book, Afrasiabi examines how people throughout history have overcome profound differences to persuade others. Drawing on five true stories, he explores the roles of credibility, sound reasoning, emotional connection, and respect in changing minds. His advice focuses how to disagree constructively, particularly when the desire to win an argument threatens to overshadow the importance of maintaining relationships.

Afrasiabi says that there’s a difference between persuasion and simply defeating an opponent. Even when one side prevails on a particular issue, both people can leave the conversation with their dignity intact and a better understanding of one another.

“The person you disagree with today may be someone you need to live beside or work with tomorrow,” he notes. “If every disagreement ends in anger and contempt, the relationship is damaged, regardless of who ‘won’…and that will have repercussions.”

Afrasiabi is not suggesting that Americans should set aside their principles, avoid difficult issues, or pretend that every position is equally supported by the facts. Rather, he argues that persuasion gives people a way to stand up for what they believe while keeping open the possibility of understanding and influencing others. Here are seven of Afrasiabi’s tips for more constructive political conversations:

Accept that reasonable people can disagree. It’s possible for two people to look at the same issue and reach very different conclusions. That doesn’t automatically mean one is dishonest, uninformed, or acting in bad faith. Recognizing that people can hold opposing views sincerely is an important first step toward more constructive conversations. You can stand firmly behind your own beliefs while allowing that someone else may see things differently.

Try to understand the person before trying to persuade. Before presenting your argument, consider what matters to the other person. What values inform their position? What concerns are they trying to address? What experiences may have shaped their thinking?

“Too often, we’re so focused on what we want to say that we give very little thought to the person we’re trying to reach,” says Afrasiabi. “But if you don’t understand what matters to someone, it’s difficult to make an argument they’ll be willing to consider.”

Understanding someone’s perspective doesn’t require adopting it. It simply gives you a more informed and respectful starting point.

Challenge the argument, not the person’s character. Calling someone foolish, dishonest, or morally inferior may feel like a forceful response, but it doesn’t establish that your position is correct. Afrasiabi explains that personal attacks weaken persuasion by shifting attention away from the issue and putting the other person on the defensive.

A better approach is to identify the specific claim you disagree with, explain why, and support your position with credible information. You can be direct and passionate without making the disagreement personal.

Be careful not to overstate your case. Exaggerated claims may generate attention, especially in a heated political discussion, but they can also undermine credibility. Afrasiabi cautions against arguments that stretch the evidence, oversimplify complicated issues, or present uncertain conclusions as established facts.

“Credibility is one of the most valuable things you bring to a conversation,” says Afrasiabi. “When you exaggerate or make claims you can’t support, you give the other person a reason to question everything else you’re saying.”

Being persuasive means making the strongest honest case for your position, not the most dramatic one.

Look for genuine common ground. Americans may disagree sharply about policies while sharing concerns about their families, communities, safety, economic opportunity, or the country’s future. Recognizing a shared concern doesn’t resolve every disagreement, but it can create a more productive place to begin.

Afrasiabi emphasizes that common ground must be authentic. It isn’t a technique for pretending differences don’t exist. It’s a way of identifying something meaningful that both people can acknowledge, even if they favor very different solutions.

Choose words that leave the door open. An insult or accusation may linger long after the conversation ends, making the next exchange even harder. That may be especially true online, where a quick response can remain visible long after it is posted. Before posting or speaking, consider whether your words advance your argument or only deepen the divide.

Recognize that not every conversation has to end in agreement. Persuasion is not a guarantee that someone will change their mind. Sometimes the most constructive outcome is a better understanding of the disagreement, a correction of a misunderstanding, or simply the ability to continue talking respectfully in the future.

Afrasiabi believes that no single election will settle America’s divisions, and no single conversation will restore civility. That happens gradually, through the choices people make each time they disagree.

“We’re not going to agree on every issue, and we shouldn’t expect to,” concludes Afrasiabi. “But we can choose to argue with facts instead of insults, to listen instead of assuming the worst, and to treat disagreement as an opportunity for persuasion rather than a reason for contempt. We may not change every mind, but we can begin changing how we talk to one another. That’s a meaningful place to start.”

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About the Author:
Peter Afrasiabi is the author of Profiles in Persuasion: How to Stand Up, Stay Credible, and Win People Over in a Deeply Divided World (Cicero Now, LLC; 2026; ISBN: 978-1-7378849-0-3; $19.99). He has taught advocacy and persuasion at major American universities, the National Institute for Trial Advocacy, and to barristers at training programs held at Oxford University in the UK. He is the host of a national education series, The Curious Lawyer, teaching persuasion techniques and legal education programs; has been interviewed and appeared on major national news and media outlets; and holds a U.S. patent on software to help online personal persuasion efforts. As a lawyer, Peter has advocated in federal and state courts from California to New York to Washington, D.C.; in significant copyright, IP, and business disputes; as well as in civil rights and immigration cases of significant national import all the way to the Supreme Court.

About the Book:
Profiles in Persuasion: How to Stand Up, Stay Credible, and Win People Over in a Deeply Divided World (Cicero Now, LLC; 2026; ISBN: 978-1-7378849-0-3; $19.99) is available from Amazon.

Dottie DeHart
DH&C
dottie@dehartandcompany.com

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